Here are three strategies I use every day to stop overthinking: 1. But thats usually not the case. Do you have a low tolerance for spontaneous, unwanted thoughts? Also, because anxiety is so tiring and overwhelming, keep in mind that your partner, family member, or friend might not text back right away. On the flip side, it may also increase your susceptibility to developing mental health problems. Eur J Psychol. Instead of accepting that different outcomes are possible, you might assume that certain things will "always" or "never" happen. Ask yourself if they are realistic. Its comforting because itll remind the person that you have their back. Whether your tendency of overthinking takes you into the past or focuses on the future, there are positive ways to reframe your thoughts and stress less. A person thinking about their relationships, health, career, self-identity issues, and the like needs to spend time in thoughtful reflection, but too much time in the head can be costly. Ways to develop stronger interpersonal skills include: Meditation can be an excellent tool for redirecting your thoughts more positively. That means you have to train your brain to do otherwiseparticularly if youre overthinking at certain times, like before bed. Positive reframing. Always asking for reassurance. Overthinking makes it harder to fall asleep. The easiest way to practice it is to focus on something completely mundane and routine, such as washing dishes or folding laundry. I'm wondering if people at work like me or if they like the work I do. 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Rather than worry all day every day, you can contain your worries to just 15 minutes a day. Healthy self-reflection is about learning. As psychotherapist Kimberly Perlin, MSW, LCSW-C says, "People respond best to positive feedback that is specific." Say something like "I adore your tenacity" or "The way you handle situations. Everything. It can also lead to relationship anxiety, and behaviors like constantly needing reassurance or attempting to control other people. Or maybe you get upset with yourself for not seeing red flags soonerbecause you believe they should have been obvious! Reconnect with who you are. Ill think, Oh god, did I do this right? Stella B. Psalm 94:19 says, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.". To cope with that Ive tried to give myself the same choice and make the same decision. However 2. But, when youre overthinking, you might find yourself replaying a conversation in your head repeatedly or imagining something bad happening many times. Consider a young woman well call Jessica. Do you have a strong need to know or understand how your mind works? Finding ways to put an end to overthinking can help you take action in your life versus simply thinking about things that are bothering you. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. By Amy Morin, LCSW, Editor-in-Chief Being honest about all of her thoughts and feelings is one of the biggest signs you can trust your partner, says Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly . From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. "I noticed some marks on your arm, and I'm worried because I care about you. The truth is that everyone overthinks things from time to time. Cognitive distortions, humor styles, and depression. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Overanalyzing peoples facial expressions and body language, feeling that my conversation is boring them. , Analyzing their every little facial micro-expression, let alone any minute change in their vocal inflection. , Being withdrawn and quiet, getting so caught up in making sure I heard them right and making sure I dont say anything foolish that I barely say anything or include myself in social situations unless its close family (not extended, even). , Get really quiet because I dont want to say anything wrong. , Questioning if someone is mad at me over and over. Overthinking may be a symptom of a mental health issue, like depression or anxiety. Journaling is a helpful way to get your thoughts out of your head so theyre not overwhelming you as much. And while a little healthy self-reflection can help you learn from your mistakes, rehashing and second-guessing is a form of mental torture. It's saying that you can't change the outcome of your past decisions, so you shouldn't waste your time or break your heart by thinking of all the things you could've done differently. I dont like to make decisions without seriously thinking it over. J Abnorm Psychol. Our editorial content is based on thorough research and guidance from the, Partner Offers feature brands who paid Forbes Health to appear at the top of our list. Ot even that I will forget to lock the door and someone will break in while Im gone. Armandina L. Not responding right away when I am asked a question. Robin W. Taking a long time to answer, because Im mulling everything over too much. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts? Get the Forbes Health newsletter for helpful tips, news, product reviews and offers from a name you can trust. Although text messages can provide comfort for some, this may not be the case for [everyone who has] anxiety, Myers says. It isn't a matter of having been born more sensitive than others. I also feel I would waste a doctors time with my minuscule problem, that people will think Im an attention-seeker. This type of overthinking sets you up to worry about unrealistic worst-case scenarios. If they noticed I just give a, Sorry I spaced, you were saying..? And hope they keep going without asking questions. Jennifer K. I become more distant thanI usually am, stare off into space, draw blanks, stutter when someone asks me something, etc. To avoid toxic positivity, Ly says, avoid phrases like Just think about positive things! or You need to get out of your head! Instead, simply agree that anxiety sucks. If youre wondering whether overthinking is a problem for you, consider the following questions based on a test I developed for The Anxious Thoughts Workbook2: If you answered yes to many of these questions, its possible you have a tendency to overthink. This type of overthinking involves thinking things are worse than they are. Rufus Tony Spann is a nationally certified school psychologist and licensed professional counselor based in Washington, D.C. Therapy can help distinguish which worries are productive or unproductive. On top of it, I struggle with OCD, too. , I jump to conclusions. If any amount of time is spent actually learning from previous behavior and coming up with creative solutions, then it is productive. When someone doesnt give me a time, I panic. experienced journalists and medical experts, Works to support healthy DNA, genes and telomeres which are related to youthful cell function, Added ingredient 2-HOBA supports DNA and cellular component from effects of free radicals, Formulated with powerful antioxidants to promote a healthy immune response, Learn the life-changing skill of meditation, Exclusive music to help you focus and relax, Receive support by practicing mindfulness and being present, Audio programs taught by world-renowned mindfulness experts, Added benefit of video lessons on mindful movement and gentle stretching. Identify when you're overthinking - Sometimes it can be useful just to say it: That's overthinking. I mean youre ordering lunch, not negotiating a terrorist hostage situation! Overthinking isnt the same as healthy problem-solving. Are you easily aware of what youre thinking at any given moment? Here's how to recognize the signs that you're overthinking. People tell me to just decide! But its not that simple for me. Overthinking is also different than self-reflection. It appears you entered an invalid email. Identify your destructive thought patterns Negative and destructive thought patterns come in many forms - and some are worse than others. For two to three days, act as if you've chosen Option A, for example an opportunity in a new industry. It might be that theyre waiting for you to reach out. People tell me to just decide! But its not that simple for me. And if you know it will give you more of a clear conscience and unburdened heart, it's worth it. Or away from the house for a few hours. , I have to know times and dates for things months in advance. Do you find yourself caught in a distressing cycle of overanalyzing your thoughts? Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. You can essentially "shock" your senses by taking the power away from one area of your body and giving it to another. If they truly arent in the mood to talk, let them know youre on standby and will rush to their side (in person or via text) whenever they call. After a while, you'll begin to notice patterns and recognize overthinking triggers before they happen. Ready for a few ideas? If youre looking for a mental health provider, what type of treatment are you looking for? His phone was not stolen by a pack of wild gorillas charging through the city. And then plan for all the alternatives. Well, the answer is not as obvious as you might think. Close your eyes and try to feel your heartbeat from the inside, clasp your hands and squeeze them tight or put both feet on the floor and try to feel each point of contact, she says. "For example, if you approach someone and they don't reply, are short with you, or move further. "If you want, I'd love to hear more about [Name].". It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. Because by that point Ive figured out that somewhere along the way something was probably not going to go well and Ive already thought of another plan to deal with the bad outcome. Victoria D. Plan. When the brain is at rest, the areas that light up are the problem solving areas and areas associated with self-referential thinking. Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Recognizing these thoughts as highly implausible will . Even though excessive thinking might harm mental health, it may be controlled with the right methods. Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how you can stop dwelling in a negative mindset. When someone says something or acts in a way I don't like, I dwell on it. And that youre waiting in the wings should they ever need support, advice, etc. The act of overthinking can be linked to psychological problems such as anxiety and depression, although its hard to know which happens first in each individual. It shows that youre thinking about them, but not necessarily expecting a response. I spend a lot of free time thinking about the hidden meaning behind things people say or events that occur. Rather than sit and think about a problem for endless amounts of time, you can distract yourself for a bit. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. I'm wondering if I'm doing the best. Also, if youre struggling with thoughts of self-harm of any kind, contact your doctor or therapist immediately, she adds. Your partner can feel misunderstood. The opinions expressed are the authors alone and have not been provided, approved or otherwise endorsed by our advertisers. Take a moment to practice deep breathing, or repeat a positive quote or mantra to yourself. Overanalyzing peoples facial expressions and body language, feeling that my conversation is boring them. Donna S. Analyzing their every little facial micro-expression, let alone any minute change in their vocal inflection. Ursula A. Everyone overthinks sometimes. Zoning out. Ask the Holy Spirit . 'I Want to Sleep But My Body Wont Let Me': Why Does This Happen? Avoid exploding emotionally, and instead give yourself time enough to calm your immediate feelings. There are two dangers to this. Makes people feel weird and random, but probably not as weird as I feel having to say sorry without even knowing why. , I put off necessary things like medical appointments, because I overthink whether its important enough or not. "Sometimes, I can be slow at work because I overthink how to do things the right way. You have to keep thinking about that mistake to stop yourself from repeating it, right? Bitch, bitch, bitch. 8. Can you relate? Bursting into tears because Ive gone from zero to 60 in 10 seconds and have just imagined the worst case scenario that I cant imagine dealing with. Amy L. Ill constantly criticize how I do things, say wiping a bench or something. Im afraid Ill forget something that I may need to know. Observe how you think and feel. But time spent overthinking wont enhance your life at all, regardless of whether it's 10 minutes or 10 hours. Asking for constant reassurance on matters that may not bother an ordinary person and also overexplaining things to people (as in giving too many details in an attempt to make sense). Hannia I. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. What if you make the wrong decision? If your overthinking focuses on your partner, you could say something like, "My partner loves me. 7. But youre not aloneresearch suggests 73% of 25- to 35-year-olds chronically overthink, along with 52% of people ages 45 to 55. Regaining mental health and wellbeing is attainable with the appropriate methods. Here are a few to consider. Completing Tasks Slowly. So eventually I end upwith so much anxiety, I dont seek the help. All Rights Reserved. Just remember you cant speed up the process or talk someone out of anxiety. 'Show more' : 'Show less' }}. I need a bottle of water." But when I think too much, it's not enough to just say "I'm overthinking." This is an example of empowering with empathy, Potter says. 2013;122(2):339-352. doi:10.1037/a0031994, Thomsen DK, Mehlsen MY, Christensen S, Zachariae R. Ruminationrelationship with negative mood and sleep quality. In fact, overthinking can kill the joy of dating, meeting new people and enjoying what the current moment has to offer. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. This looks different for everyone, but ideas. David A. Clark, Ph.D., is a practicing clinical psychologist and Professor Emeritus with the Department of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick. 4. While this may influence where their products or services appear on our site, it in no way affects our ratings, which are based on thorough research, solid methodologies and expert advice. Educate yourself about concepts such as cognitive distortions, maladaptive beliefs, anxiety, trust, etc. This is often confused with "toxic positivity," which asks people to think positively no matter how . Attention training is a meditation technique that can benefit people with anxiety and depression. Ill think so much about what could go wrong and irrationally put evidence with my line of thinking I dont realize I do it and I dont mean to. , Write to do lists in great detail, over and over again to make sure I have everything written down. , Lists. I have to plan when I wake up, what I wear, if Ill even go, everything. You might even convince yourself that thinking about something for a really long time is the key to developing the best solution. Have confidence in . I agree to receive the Forbes Health newsletter via email. you can do to change the channel in your brain from overthinking into a more healthy mindset. Banks, who recently partnered with the U.K.-fave brand, tells PEOPLE that at the urging of her dermatologist to try retinol on her aging skin, she found No7. It occurs as an irresistible urge to analyze practically everything they think, but especially the unwanted, spontaneous thoughts that just pop into their mind. Ha, yeah, that wouldn't be good. It also communicates that theyre not the only one who might benefit from something like meditation, Potter says, because you are practicing it as well.. If you can relate, dont forget to have compassion for yourself, and know even if youre still working on it, youre not alone. You are a priority In someone's life, you are a priority. While this may influence where their products or services appear on our site, it in no way affects our ratings, which are based on thorough research, solid methodologies and expert advice. When I zone out, its when my mind plays out every possible and even some impossible situations that could happen during the days activities. Liv W. I get worried when theres an even slight change in the persons tone and start apologizing for things I mightve done wrong. Being withdrawn and quiet, getting so caught up in making sure I heard them right and making sure I dont say anything foolish that I barely say anything or include myself in social situations unless its close family (not extended, even). Rach M. Get really quiet because I dont want to say anything wrong. Destiny V. Questioning if someone is mad at me over and over. The psalmists give us excellent examples of this. Just be sure to choose words that validate what theyre experiencing while avoiding accidental brush-off statements, like you need to calm down or everythings going to be fine. Although well-meaning, these kinds of texts can send the message that the person with anxiety just needs to stop worrying or get over it, Potter says, which can add to their feelings of isolation and disconnection.. Strategies that may help you become more self-accepting include: If you cant break free from overthinking, consider getting professional help. Rumination can be common in people who have chronic pain and chronic illness as well, taking the form of negative thoughts about that pain and healing from it.
